Vampire Academy IM
by xXxTheSarcasticBitchCassxXx
Summary: Basically all our favourite Vampire Academy characters on IM. I loved writing this, and its still in progress. Its a good laugh, some romance and some guest stars on later chapters, mostly people from other book series, Harry Potter and so many more.
1. IM Accounts

**Here it is, my very first story of IMing ever**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or the characters in it, I hate you for reminding me. Enjoy the story :)**

IMs:

Rose: BadassDhampirBabe

Lissa: HighSpirits

Adrian: UrLoveIsMyDrug

Christian: FireVsIce

Dimitri: RosesGod

Mia: TheBlondeYouWannaB

Jill: JailBait

Eddie: JustinBieberIsMyLove

Tatina: QueenBitch

Aaron: LissasTrueLove

**Next chapter will be the the first chapter. Just needed to put the intro's first. Im on school holidays so expect a lot of chapters cause I've a lot of free time in the night. I stayed up till like 5 in the morning yesterday making my profile up. Tys helped. Love all my readers and helpers**

**R&R :) **


	2. Adrian and Eddie?

**Me: Here it is, my first chapter! Enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it, and remember to review. I love my reviewers. Anyways, enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, you can't sue**

Chapter One:

_BadassDhampirBabe, TheBlondeYouWannaB and HighSpirits have signed in_

BadassDhampirBabe: Hey Liss

HighSpirits: Sup my bitches and ho's!

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Okaay…. I'm bored, let's play a prank on the guys!

BadassDhampirBabe: What did you have in mind?

HighSpirits: Umm….let's flush their heads down a toilet! _*Maniacal laughter is heard from Lissa's room*_

BadassDhampirBabe: Lissa, did Adrian give you coffee?

HighSpirits: Heeeell yeah RosiePosie!

BadassDhampirBabe: Mia, what did you have in mind? I need to make Adrian play for unleashing this doom upon us

HighSpirits: ….Why must you hurt me?

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Ignoring that. Hmm, to make Adrian suffer. So many options so little time_ *evil cackle*_

BadassDhampirBabe: Ooh! How about we get him drunk and get him to kiss Eddie!

HighSpirits: Omgizzle, Rose, you are one evil chick

TheBlondeYouWannaB: That is brilliant! Now…we need to get him drunk. Only way to do that is with a little truth or dare! Go get everyone!

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: This is gonna be a classic!

HighSpirits: I'm gonna go get the video camera! Ttyl, ilysfm babe

_HighSpirits has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: What the hell?

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed off_

**(A/N: This is one of those rare times where I go out of IM to write the out-of-IM happenings. I'm not gonna be a bitch and leave you all hanging)**

Rose P.O.V

"There you are comrade! You are playing truth or dare with us, or else", I said, spotting Dimitri's bare chiselled abs from a mile away.

He spun around, a taunting smile playing on his lips. "You're punishment sounds a lot better" he said, licking his lips at me. I just about melted under his heart-stopping gaze. I shook myself out of it, refusing to look like a whipped little schoolgirl.

"You can receive that punishment later, now come on. And put a damn shirt on" I growled, spotting Camille, a popular bitchy Moroi, strutting past, staring at MY sexy guardians abs. He chuckled and nodded, putting his baggy singlet on, his hair tied back with bits falling in front of his beautiful brown eyes. I tore my eyes away from him and we headed to Adrian's room.

Dimitri spun me around as we reached the door, kissing me fiercely. Our kisses were usually soft and gentle, but this one was intense and rough. I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed my eyes, emitting a small moan as his teeth brushed my lip. We heard an obnoxious throat-clearing, and broke apart quickly, glaring at our interrupter. Adrian, who else?

I panted, out of breath, while Dimitri looked smug and put his arms around me. Aha! He was doing it for Adrian's benefit. As we walked in, we were greeted differently. A chipper "Hey!" from Lissa, a nod from Christian, a wave from Mia and Jill, a huge grin from Eddie, and a hug from Adrian. I subtly pushed him back as Dimitri began scowling.

"Okay, now for the ultimate. Adrian, truth or dare?" Mia asked, a sly smile across her youthful face.

"Dare of course baby" Adrian said cockily.

"Perfect. I dare you to drain these two bottles of wine" Mia smiled angelically now.

"Easy-peasy" Adrian scoffed, downing the two bottles with ease. His eyes glazed over a little, and a huge, goofy smile spread across his face.

"Lissy, T or D?" he yelled, doing a weird Mad-Hatter impersonation.

"Umm….truth please" Lissa glared, annoyed at being called Lissy, while Christian looked pissed off.

"Have you and Rose ever kissed?" Adrian grinned. Lissa's eyes went wide and she looked to me. I sighed and nodded, urging her to go on.

"Yes…two years ago. She was high from the vampire bite when I fed from her, and she kissed me" Lissa looked down. Mia and Jill looked shocked, while Adrian, Christian, Dimitri and Eddies jaws dropped.

"HOT!" Adrian boomed.

"I'm so getting you back for this" Lissa growled, turning to Eddie, a sweet smile replacing her menace. "Edward, truth or dizz-are?" she asked Eddie.

"Dare, duh" Eddie grinned cockily. Not for long, I giggled inwardly. Dimitri and Jill grinned, they knew the plan. Christian was having a hard time holding in his laughter.

"I dare you and Mia to play twenty seconds in heaven in the closet" giggled Lissa. Mia pretended to be shocked, while a huge grin spread across Eddies face. He walked into the closet beckoning Mia in.

"I'll be there in one second, kay?" Mia said, a smile in her voice. Eddie shrugged and closed the door behind him, a gleeful smirk on his face.

"Adrian, go in the closet. I'll meet you in there" I winked sexily. Adrian jumped up, limping a little, and ran into the closet where Eddie was. We heard a few kissing noises, then two voices.

"Mia, you taste like alcohol"

"Rose, you've got man hands"

There was silence. And then two girlish shrieks. We all doubled over laughing when they ran out, spitting their lips. Eddie slumped over to the table, crossing his arms pouting. Adrian was passed out, because of the alcohol and disgust. Mia walked over to Eddie and kissed him.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Forgive me?" Mia asked, doing a heartbreaking pout. Eddie swooned.

"Forgiven" he said, kissing her. She pulled away giggling and wiping her lips.

"You taste like Adrian" she teased. Eddie growled playfully and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing her heavily. We groaned and took this as our key to get out.

"Hold on" I giggled, getting out a black marker from my jean pocket and onto Adrian. We all took turns, writing "I heart penis" and "Call me. Hot, single and gay" and my personal favourite, "Open for business" across his ass. We all left, laughing. Christian and Lissa went to the church attic, Jill went to practice her magic, and Dimitri and I continued where we left off in the old abandoned cabin.

**(A/N: Okay, back to IM. I loved writing that. Just inspired is all)**

_BadassDhampirBabe, UrLoveIsMyDrug, RosesGod, JustinBieberIsMyLove, TheBlondeYouWannaB, JailBait, FireVsIce and HighSpirits have signed on_

_BadassDhampirBabe: Hey guys. Girls. Adrian_

_UrLoveIsMyDrug: Not funny -.-_

_RosesGod: Nope. Hilarious is the better word_

_HighSpirits: LMFAO, Adrian just got SERVED_

_FireVsIce: Caffine again babe?_

_TheBlondeYouWannaB: Oh no, Queen Bitch is coming. Ttyl guys_

_Everyone but Mia: Bye_

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has signed off_

_QueenBitch: That's my name don't wear it out!_

_Everyone but Tatina: O_O_

_BadassDhampirBabe, UrLoveIsMyDrug, RosesGod, JustinBieberIsMyLove, JailBait, FireVsIce and HighSpirits have signed off_

_QueenBitch: I must go find Ambrose. Chilling with the youngsters makes me wanna get hot and heavy_

_QueenBitch has signed off_

**Oh my god, my first chapter is finished! Success! Okay guys, please R&R and I love you all!  
Jake: *Whispering* Get out while you still can. Don't let Cassidy's insanity affect you. Run!**

**Me: Jake….stop being a fridgid bitch. Now, our agreement?**

**Jake: *grumbles incoherently***

**Me: What was that? Couldn't hear your mousey voice**

**Jake: Argh! Fine! R and R! Happy? Now give me the game!**

**Me: *rolls eyes* Okay, thanks for reading. Jake actually helped me and in return, he gets to borrow Left4Dead2 from me. Great game, go check it out, I advise you though, not for the faint hearted! **

**xx Cassidy**


	3. Are you high?

**Oh my god, you're actually reading chapter two! I'm so proud! Haha, this chapter everyone will be VERY ooc, and crazy. So it's gonna be one hell of a chapter, hope you can handle it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from Vampire Academy. I do however, own the IM names. Ha! Take that America! Anyways on with the story**

Chapter 2:

_BadassDhampirBabe, UrLoveIsMyDrug, RosesGod, JustinBieberIsMyLove, TheBlondeYouWannaB, JailBait, FireVsIce and HighSpirits have signed on_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Eddie-kins, whats up with your name? It sounds like two beavers threw up on it

JustinBieberIsMyLove: SHUT UP! It's not my fault Justin is so delicious. He's made me One Less Lonely Girl

TheBlondeYouWannaB: I thought you were mine!

JustinBieberIsMyLove: I'm sorry Mia. But what Justin and I have is real. I'm his Baby

HighSpirits: This is some soap opera shit right here! Christian I want popcorn!

FireVsIce: Babe, we don't have popcorn

HighSpirits: Christian, I WANT POPCORN _*Stomps foot like those girls on tv do*_

BadassDhampirBabe: Did you seriously just stomp your foot?

RosesGod: Anyways Adrian, stop being so mean to Ed. Whats up with YOUR screename?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: It's a dedication to a special someone _*winks at Rose*_

BadassDhampirBabe: _*gag*_

RosesGod: You wanna go, ho?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Hell no!

RosesGod: Are you as turned on as I am?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Im already naked with the massage oil on my bed. Come get me, my macho Russian

RosesGod: Can't wait _*winks seductively*_

_RosesGod and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: What the hell just happened?

HighSpirits: Dimitri Belikov just happened

FireVsIce: HA! This is even better than Girls Gone Wi- _*Looks at Lissa* _I mean, Discovery Channel

HighSpirits: You better hope your fine ass it's Discovery Channel

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Oh my god you guys are soo weird

QueenBitch: Agreed sister

BadassDhampirBabe: Where did you come from?

QueenBitch: Yo momma's ass bitch

FireVsIce: _*Jaw drops* _Rose, Tatina's your sister?

HighSpirits: Christian, babies come from the-

FireVsIce: Don't ruin my innocence yet. Don't do that to me

HighSpirits: ….I was gonna say they come from your stomach **(A/N: This is true. I was a C-section. I point to mums stomach and say "I've left my mark")**

FireVsIce: NOOOOOO! My innocent eyes! For that I'm stealing your Jo-Bro's poster. Not cause I like it or anything, or cry whenever I hear their songs….

Everyone But Christian: O_O

FireVsIce: _*starts crying* _Kevin! Take me away!

_JoJo, SexedUp and JealousMuch have signed on _**(A/N: I told you guest stars would be here! Get ready for Christians girlie moment!)**

FireVsIce: Omg, youre- Oh my- Kevin- _*Screams like a fangirl and faints*_

JoJo: Shit, wrong chat room

SexedUp: Ha, you guys don't have fans

JealousMuch: Shut up Kevin. Go have sex in the eyes of the lord

JoJo: Hes right Kev. You're going to hell

SexedUp: Damn…

_JoJo, SexedUp and JealousMuch have signed off_

FireVsIce: _*Recovers* _NOO! KEVIN! TAKE ME WITH YOU _*Starts screaming and stomping his foot*_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Oh my god. Spongebob is on. Later children

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has set status as "Away and watching spongey deliciousness"_

JustinBieberIsMyLove: WERE the children? UGH. I hate you. I'm gonna go find Justin Bieber and throw pebbles at his window

_JustinBieberIsMyLove has signed off_

_RosesGod and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed on_

RosesGod: NEVER AGAIN! That was so disgustingly gross! Take me back Rose! _*Whimpers in fear*_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Dimitri, baby, get over it…why is Christian screaming and running around in circles?

BadassDhampirBabe: Kevin Jonas. Don't ask. Anyways what was so disgustingly gross?

RosesGod: Adrian hasn't got a penis! Hes got a damn hose!

HighSpirits: …..Reaally?

BadassDhampirBabe: How…long?

RosesGod: Longer than my arm _*Shivers, repressing the memory*_

HighSpirits: Dayum. Hey, Jill, you alive?  
JailBait: Yes…and I'll never look at you all the same. Especially Adrian

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Jilly-bean, you know you want me

JailBait: "Jilly-bean"? Are you high Adrian?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Yeah…wanna join?

JailBait: …Fine.

_JailBait and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed off_

HighSpirits: Magic mushrooms. Rose, I'm gonna go check out Adrians hose.

RosesGod: OMG THE JONAS BROTHERS WERE HERE? AND I MISSED IT! UGH!

_RosesGod has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: _*Facepalm*_ Im gonna join you Liss

_BadassDhampirBabe and HighSpirits have signed off_

FireVsIce: I'm catching a case of the Bieber Fever! Omg EDDIE WAIT UP

_FireVsIce has signed off_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Oh my god im surrounded by idiots

TheBlondeYouWannaB: _*Starts singing* _ Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho, cause the ho wont trust me

QueenBitch: Shush girl, shut your lips. Do the helli-keller and talk with yo hips

TheBlondeYouWannaB: O_O

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has signed off_

QueenBitch: Tight jeans double D's makes me wanna _*whistles*_

_QueenBitch has signed off_

**Oh my god I had so much fucking fun writing that chapter. That was Vampire Academy on crack. **

**Haha okay, review cause you know I adore my reviewers. I worked superhard and you will be rewarded for your kindness. I'm writing a new Vampire Academy story and if any of you want to be in it (only as royals, dhampirs, humans, strigoi's or guardians), then write your characters full name, appearance, what type of Vampire you are, dislikes and likes, age and friends. It will be well worth it, I promise.**

**xx Cassidy**


	4. Rodrian

**Hey guys, third chapter here! I am so excited; I've never written a story this long. Usually I come up with an idea, get halfway into it, start getting bored, scrunch the papers up and throw them at people from the balcony, then hide and pretend to be outraged and a victim. Haha, if I've ever hit any of you guys with it, I'm sorry. Forgive me, my loyal readers? Anyways, enjoy. I thought of this when I was trying to get some sleep, and if I have an idea, my damn conscience doesn't shut up.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, except Rodrian (read and all will be explained)**

Chapter Three:

_BadassDhampirBabe, UrLoveIsMyDrug, FireVsIce and HighSpirits have signed on _

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Rosie, guess what

BadassDhampirBabe: Don't call me Rosie, and let me guess…a life?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: You're so hurtful. And no, it's not that. I got a build-a-bear called Rodrian!

HighSpirits: Ha! Rodrian!

BadassDhampirBabe: I don't like where this is going….

UrLoveIsMyDrug: I do naughty things to that bear. Things your young innocent eyes shouldn't see

HighSpirits: Has anyone ever told you that you're insane?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Rodrian says you can kiss her ass

HighSpirits: I will kill that bear, Adrian. I will

FireVsIce: Sup my peepies?

BadassDhampirBabe: I take it you're over Kevin?

FireVsIce: Yep! I got a new obsession: Ken

HighSpirits: The Barbie doll Ken?

FireVsIce: The very one _*Strokes Kens soft velvety hair with the pink brush that came with him*_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: You will NEVER hurt Rodrian

HighSpirits: Wanna bet?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: I love betting!

HighSpirits: You're gonna make a great dad -.-

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Thank you!

HighSpirits: _*Rolls eyes* _No problem

BadassDhampirBabe: When will Dimitri be here? You guys are driving me insane

UrLoveIsMyDrug: In a good way? _*Wiggles eyebrows suggestively*_

_Rodrian has signed on_

Rodrian: What the hell! You are cheating on me, Aidy? We are so over. And Lissa, you're mommas so dumb she sold her car for gas money

BadassDhampirBabe: Oh snap crackle and pop!

HighSpirits: Oh hell no! Hold ma shit! _*Hands Rose her earrings*_

_HighSpirits has signed off to kill Rodrian_

_Rodrian has lost connection for unknown reasons_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: ROADY! NOO! _*Starts sobbing hysterically*_

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed off to mourn Rodrians death_

_HighSpirits, TheBlondeYouWannaB and RosesGod have signed on'_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Why are there bear shredding's in the dorms?

HighSpirits: I killed a build-a-bear

TheBlondeYouWannaB: O_O that's not weird at all…

HighSpirits: I know right!

RosesGod: You guys are very strange people. And Rose, Adrian is trying to kill himself with a plastic knife..

BadassDhampirBabe: Eh, let him be. He won't get far

FireVsIce: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic

RosesGod: If you were in plastic, you'd suffocate

FireVsIce: Shut up! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere! Imagination, life is your creation

HighSpirits: Undress you anywhere, huh?

BadassDhampirBabe: So, if I 'imagined' you with a tail, it'd happen?

FireVsIce: You guys are mean! Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because I like the way it hurts

TheBlondeYouWannaB: You like being hurt? If you don't stop singing, I'll give you an ass-whooping

FireVsIce: Okay, okay! I had no idea I was that bad

Everyone But Christian: You are

FireVsIce: Didn't even give it a chance

HighSpirits: You'd make a pretty girl, Christian

BadassDhampirBabe: I don't see the difference between him and a girl

_FireVsIce has signed off to go cry in_ a corner

_QueenBitch has signed on_

QueenBitch: Dimitri, you, me, a bed. How about it?

BadassDhampirBabe: Oh HELL no! That's my man!

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed off to destroy Tatina_

QueenBitch: I'd love to feel your smooth Russian hands making their way down to my smooth-ARGH

_QueenBitch has lost connection_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Eddie was right this is better than cable!

HighSpirits: C'mon Dimitri. Let's go make sure Rose doesn't kill her

RosesGod: Great idea. First _*Gets out video camera*_

HighSpirits: Kinky. Now let's go

_HighSpirits and RosesGod have signed off_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: I hate my life

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has signed off_

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed on_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Rodrian _*sniffles*_

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed off_

**There we are! I'm sorry if it's not very funny, I'm just so tired. It's 3 a.m. here. See how much I love you guys? RIP Rodrian. She had a good run. Haha, anyways as I said in the earlier chapter, if you wanna be an OC in my new story I'm working on, tell me these things:**

**Your characters full name**

**What she/he is (eg. Dhampir, guardian, moroi, strigoi, human, etc.)**

**Likes**

**Dislikes**

**Friends**

**Age**

**& Personality**

**And remember to review! I adore my reviewers. Rodrian did too *sniffles* **

**xx Cassidy**


	5. Edward, Jacob and DUMBLEDORE?

**Here we are, chapter four! And to those beautiful kind people who reviewed, thank you guys. You made my very shitty week turn around, and pulled me out of my spiral of depression. I don't want to get into my depressive details and bore you guys to death (cause then, who'd read my stories, haha). Enjoy it, you guys deserve it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in Vampire Academy, I love that constant reminder **

Chapter Four:

_FireVsIce and BadassDhampirBabe have signed on_

BadassDhampirBabe: Ugh. Of all people

FireVsIce: Shut up Rosemarie

BadassDhampirBabe: Make me Chrissie

FireVsIce: Go take a shower I can smell you from here

BadassDhampirBabe: Christian you are such a n00b

FireVsIce: What the hells a n00b?

_HighSpirits has signed on_

HighSpirits: Omg! Rose! I got Twilight! Now we can read about Edward and his deliciousness

FireVsIce: Who's Edward? You're cheating on me? No Lissa! I can change!

BadassDhampirBabe: God, Edward is delicious all right. I'd love to lick his stone cold sparkly body

FireVsIce: So, in short, you're crushing on a gay fairy wannabe vampire?

HighSpirits: Shut up Christian! YOU'RE the short one

FireVsIce: ….I HAVE A CONDITION

_FireVsIce has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: Jeez what a little bitch

HighSpirits: I know right! Now lets focus on Edward! _*drools over keyboard*_

BadassDhampirBabe: Hell no! Edwards hot, but Jacob Black is one sexy wolf

HighSpirits: _*Narrows eyes* _No. Team Edward

BadassDhampirBabe: Jacob

HighSpirits: Edward

BadassDhampirBabe: JACOB

HighSpirits: EDWARD

_RosesGod has signed on_

RosesGod: Dumbledore!

_RosesGod has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: Why am I with him?

HighSpirits: He's hot, Russian, got a sexy accent and is totally badass

BadassDhampirBabe: _*Dreamily* _Oh yeah. That's why

_TheBlondeYouWannaB and JailBait have signed on_

JailBait: How bout team Shut The Fuck Up

HighSpirits: GASP. You'd dare insult someone's religion? That's racist

TheBlondeYouWannaB: I concur

HighSpirits: What does a sandwich have to do with anything?

BadassDhampirBabe: ….

JailBait: …

TheBlondeYouWannaB: …..

HighSpirits: OOH! Dotical!

TheBlondeYouWannaB: You guys have made me hungry now. Thanks a lot

BadassDhampirBabe: Mia, it's one in the morning. You don't wanna get caught do you?

TheBlondeYouWannaB: I am so bored though. I'm gonna go rob a sub-shop

_TheBlondeYouWannaB has signed off_

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed on_

BadassDhampirBabe: Oh joy. It's you

JailBait: I thought I smelled liquor

UrLoveIsMyDrug: This is the worst feeling in the world. Make it go away!

HighSpirits: Your hangover?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: No, being sober! It's so painful! _*Whimpers*_

_JustinBieberIsMyLove and EddiesMyBaby have signed on _**(A/N: This chapter is filled with things I hate: Bieber, Edward, etc.)**

JustinBieberIsMyLove: I FOUND HIM. MY ONE TIME BABY!

EddiesMyBaby: I love you Eddie-kins

JustinBieberIsMyLove: _*Squeals then faints*_

HighSpirits: You don't really love him do you?

EddiesMyBaby: Nah, I'm just a promiscuous in the closet homosexual whose nearly old enough to go to male strip clubs

BadassDhampirBabe: Ugh. I give up.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: _*Hyperventilating* _Justin…Bieber….oh….my….god….it's…..you! EEEEK!

EddiesMyBaby: And who are you, fine young man?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Adrian Ivashkov! I'm your number one fan! I love you!

_EddiesMyBaby has changed his name to AdriansMyBaby_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Lets go ride off into the sunset while you serenade me!

AdriansMyBaby: Sounds good

_UrLoveIsMyDrug and AdriansMyBaby have signed off_

JustinBieberIsMyLove: Noo! Justin! I loved you! Mia! Take me back!

_JustinBieberIsMyLove has signed off to go win Mia back_

BadassDhampirBabe: Liss, I got a call from the Police Station. We gotta go pick up Mia. She's been busted

HighSpirits: _*Grabs video camera* _This is gonna make for some great blackmail

_HighSpirits and BadassDhampirBabe have signed off_

**There it is! I am so sick of the whole Edward Cullen and Bella hype. I like the other characters, Team Victoria for me! This is my last Eddie, Dimitri, Adrian and Christian gay thing, cause that's run its course. Rest assured it'll all still be funny and interesting (If you have a funny bone haha) Love you all, and review. I might even do the whole "Mia's trip to prison" chapter, yes or no?**

**xx Cassidy**


	6. Confused Dimitri?

**Hey guys, i'm back on my computer (finally). Mum says it's becoming an addiction. I thought addiction's to writing help your motor skills and stuff. Oh well. Anyways, before I give you this chapter (which the one and only Jade has helped me with), I adore all my reviewers, so enjoy this chapter, every one of you. Dedications to you all will be laid out in different future chapters!**

**Disclaimer: In no way do I have any claims of owning any of the VA characters, and I love being reminded. Alrighty enjoy.**

Chapter Five:

_BadassDhampirBabe, UrLoveIsMyDrug, RosesGod, JustinBieberIsMyLove, TheBlondeYouWannaB, JailBait, FireVsIce and HighSpirits have signed on_

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Its Brittney bitch

RosesGod: I thought you were Mia. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CONFUSING?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Like your sexuality?

RosesGod: Boo, you whore _*Z snap*_

BadassDhampirBabe: Did you seriously just quote Mean Girls?

FireVsIce: Mean Girls is the bomb diggity. It's what helped me survive all these lonely dark years at the academy

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Plus, looking at Aaron Samuels is the highlight _*Drool*_

HighSpirits: Not this again Adrian. I thought you loved Rose

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Exactly. I'll never be able to love another woman. I never said anything about men

JustinBieberIsMyLove: Is it weird that I totally understand his perspective?

JailBait: Pretty much, yeah

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Eddie, go change your name. Justin betrayed you, let him go

JustinBieberIsMyLove: _*Clutches Bieber cd collection and begins crying* _I can't! It's so hard. You don't know how it feels to be with someone like him!

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Uh, yeah. I really do.

FireVsIce: Anyways, Lissa has helped pull me outta my gayness spiral

BadassDhampirBabe: Not enough it seems

RosesGod: Ooh burned. Girl, you are FABULOUS

HighSpirits: Dimitri, I used to think you were badass. Badass people don't use the word fabulous

RosesGod: Funny. I wasn't too gay when I helped you pick out your outfit for Christian!

FireVsIce: Wow. You have really good taste Dimitri

RosesGod: Thank you honey-buns

HighSpirits: Uh uh bitch. That's my man's buns youre talking about

JailBait: I'm so bored. Lets play a game!

UrLoveIsMyDrug: What kinda game Jilly Bean?

JailBait: Love isn't the only drug you're on Adrian. And its this game from the eighth grade. You go around saying one word each that makes a sentence

FireVsIce: Sounds okay

JailBait: Okay I'll go first. The

BadassDhampirBabe: Queen

HighSpirits: Ran

FireVsIce: Uhh….out?

TheBlondeYouWannaB: of

RosesGod: Banana-flavoured

UrLoveIsMyDrug: CONDOMS!

_QueenBitch has signed on_

QueenBitch: That reminds me, Adrian honey, can you run to the store to get some banana flavoured condoms?

_QueenBitch has signed off_

_LissasTrueLove has signed on_

FireVsIce: Oh yaay look who it is

UrLoveIsMyDrug: OMGIZZLE! My fave gal pal!

LissasTrueLove: Adrian, bitch, how you been? Why haven't you answered my Sexts?

BadassDhampirBabe: 'Sexts'? Adrian, him, really?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Don't judge me Rose

RosesGod: Aaron is quite delicious…not that I'd know that or anything

FireVsIce: Riiiiight

JustinBieberIsMyLove: I wanna go to Vegas. I'm so bored of you people

TheBlondeYouWannaB: OOH! Roadtrip!

RosesGod: I'll go get my laciest pink panties

_RosesGod has signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: I'm gonna see if I can turn him straight

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Please don't. I wanna get married this weekend

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed off to spike Dimitris vegas drink_

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed off_

HighSpirits: Christian, i need a males opinion on lingerie. Come on

FireVsIce: Im getting lucky bitches!

_HighSpirits and FireVsIce have signed off_

JustinBieberIsMyLove: How come I never get lucky?

TheBlondeYouWannaB: Cause I refuse to have sex in front of Edward Cullen pictures

JustinBieberIsMyLove: I ONLY HAVE TWELVE OF THEM. PRUDE!

_JustinBieberIsMyLove and TheBlondeYouWannaB have signed off_

JailBait: And I being the only sane one have to make sure they don't get in trouble. And, video camera it all

_JailBait has signed off_

QueenBitch: I'm gonna go hit on the strippers wandering around. Mama needs her sugar

_QueenBitch has signed off_

LissasTrueLove: IM A STRIPPER! WAIT!

_LissasTrueLove has signed off_

**And that's the end of this story. KIDDING! You guys can put your balloons and streamers away. This isn't a time for celebrating cause I'm so gonna torture you some more haha! I adore my reviewers and I apologise about this chapter. It wasn't very funny. I'll have a way funnier one up soon. These things take time. Love you all and remember to review. That special button is just begging for you to press it! Grossest thing ive ever wrote on a A/N but its totally true. And I was kidding about no more gayness. What would my stories be without the Fabulously Gay Group, haha**

**xx Cassidy **


	7. ROLLS, LIGGY AND JUSTIN BIEBER?

**Hey guys! Cass here. Sorry I haven't updated in forever, but ive been having a rough couple of months. Remember, I love you guys and your reviews have been too kind to me. Im just going off the top of my head here, so forgive me if it isn't very funny. Its currently 11:22 pm here, and im on the verge of falling asleep haha. But honestly, 3 more weeks till holidays. Im gonna be UD heaps then, but im trying to lay some chapters out now. Love you all and please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA. I wish I did, but Richelle Mead is a literary genius and invented it first. Bi-atch. Haha, enjoy:**

_RosesGod, BadassDhampirBabe and HighSpirits have signed on_

RosesGod: OMGIZZLE! ROSE, GUESS WHAT. IM A WIFE!

BadassDhampirBabe: Dimitri! How could you? I thought you loved me!

RosesGod: I do, but I love Christian more. You have 10 minutes to collect all your stuff, otherwise consider it mine or a homeless persons stuff…..

HighSpirits: ….Did you say _Christian_

RosesGod: No….i said….potato…chips. God, get some hearing aids, Lissa

HighSpirits: Phew! For a second there I thought you and Christian got married

RosesGod: Heh….yeah….crazy….

BadassDhampirBabe: I HATE YOU DIMITRI. I HOPE YOUR PINK BEAR GETS RAN OVER!

RosesGod: DON'T BRING FLUFFY INTO THIS!

BadassDhampirBabe: Im gonna go kill Fluffy. Im gonna do it. Im gonna kill Fluff-ay.

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed off_

RosesGod: NOOOOO! FLUFFY! ILL SAVE YOU FROM ROLLS!

HighSpirits: Her name is ROSE

RosesGod: That's what I said, Liggy

HighSpirits: How do you get 'Liggy' from Lissa?

RosesGod: LIGGY, this is no time for games. Rolls has my Fluffy!

_FireVsIce has signed on_

FireVsIce: Hello, my sexy bitch. Make me a sandwich?

HighSpirits: Get it yourself, Christian

FireVsIce: Im not talking to you Liggy

HighSpirits: ...

RosesGod: CHRISTIAN! ROLLS HAS FLUFFY!

FireVsIce: NOO! IS THAT THE SAME BEAR I GAVE BIRTH TO?

RosesGod: YES. THAT'S HIM!

FireVsIce: NOO! HE CAME OUT OF MY ASS ONLY TWO DAYS AGO! HE WAS SO YOUNG!

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed on_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: SOMEONE HELP ME!

HighSpirits: Whats wrong?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Okay, ill tell you. But you can NEVER ask why I did it.

HighSpirits: Okay.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: I was scaling Justin Biebers house, and I reached his window. My pants were itchy, so I took them off. Justin came out shirtless and I got kind of…..happy. Long story short, the window slammed down and now, is half of what he used to be

HighSpirits: Oh…um…..thats not funny at all….excuse me for one second…_ *Hysterical laughter is heard from Lissas room*_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Oh hey Dimitri. Hey Christian

RosesGod: Shut up, Audrina. Im trying to figure out how to get Fluffy back!

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Dimitri, I am half a penis short, so youre on my last nerve right now.

RosesGod: …..I don't even wanna know where that nerve is

UrLoveIsMyDrug: SHUT UP.

HighSpirits: Im back. And jeez, guys, don't PMS all over the floor. Need me to get you guys a tampon?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Do I look like a chick?

RosesGod: Can you get them to super-size the tampon?

HighSpirits: Ill…try….O_o

RosesGod: OH MY GOD. ROLLS CUT OFF FLUFFIES EAR AND SENT IT TO ME. OH MY BIEBER!

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Oh my Bieber?

RosesGod: Well, Justin Bieber is my idol, so hes my god I guess

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Huh…kinky!

HighSpirits: Adrian, 911 is coming for you

RosesGod: ROFL, you said "coming"

HighSpirits: What are you, five?

RosesGod: Maybe

FireVsIce: OMG. Will you guys shut up! Im looking up pictures of buff naked men here and all I can hear is nag nag nag. Jeesh.

HighSpirits: Screw this. BTW, Dimitri, Rolls killed Fluffy

RosesGod: OMG. NO. WHY!

FireVsIce: Dimka, honey, ill come cheer you up.

RosesGod: NO. I WANNA DIVORCE. I ONLY STAYED WITH YOU CAUSE YOU WERE BIRTHING MY CHILD

HighSpirits: IT'S A BEAR! UGH

_HighSpirits, RosesGod and FireVsIce have signed off_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: FINALLY! Wait…is that a Moroi camera crew? LIGGY! WHAT DID YOU DO? NOO, DON'T PHOTOGRAPH . NOOOO!

_UrLoveIsMyDrug has signed off_

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed on_

BadassDhampirBabe: MWU HA HA HA HA HA, BITCHES. Oh. Nobodys here. Bummer.

_BadassDhampirBabe has signed off_

**Well, did you guys like my seventh chapter? I hope so! Off the top of my head. Thanks for reading guys, im going through a tough time. Hopefully Fridays boy-girl social will cheer me up. Love you guys, and please review. I know its selfish to ask you for that after all this time, but it would be awesome.**

**xx Cassidy**


	8. Mean Girls and Old Habits

**Oh my god. Long time no see my lovelies! Whats it been, three years god. Well I am so terribly sorry for disappearing out of the blue. I broke my laptop (I tend to do that a lot, I am so graceful with my feet) and well, the long wait is over! Please enjoy the long awaited chapter 8! xxx**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, nor will I ever. Richelle Mead is a literary babe!**

_RosesGod, BadassDhampirBabe, HighSpirits, FireVsIce and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed in_

RosesGod: ROSE! MY BABY GIRL! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! THE YIN TO MY YANG! THE TIM TO MY TAM! THE FIRE TO MY ICE-

FireVsIce: Hey!

RosesGod: Guuuuurl you don't own that, don't be frontin'.

FireVsIce: ….

HighSpirits: Hey Dimitri, quick question

RosesGod: Yes Liggy?

HighSpirits: If you're from Russia…why are you white?

RosesGod: ….

BadassDhampirBabe: Oh my god, Lissa, you can't just ask people why they're white!

UrLoveIsMyDrug: NO BOOTY CALLS. DECK.

BadassDhampirBabe: You can go shave your back now. Bye Adrian.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Bitch..

RosesGod: OH GURL. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST CALL MY BABY A BITCH.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH?

BadassDhampirBabe: Oh god, not again.

RosesGod: Massage oil. Candles. My room. Right now. Don't be late.

_UrLoveIsMyDrug and RosesGod have signed off_

BadassDhampirBabe: Ugh, why do I even bother.

FireVsIce: So hard to find a good man these days. I'm so lucky I have Lissa.

HighSpirits: Idk if I should be insulted or not…

FireVsIce: YOLO.

HighSpirits: I know he's kind of weird and socially retarded but he's my boyfriend…so promise you wont make fun of him!

BadassDhampirBabe: No promises Liss.

FireVsIce: Wanna do something fun? Gasp ! Do you want to go to Taco Bell?!

HighSpirits: I CANT GO TO TACO BELL I'M ON AN ALL CARB DIET GOD CHRISTIAN YOU ARE SO STUPID!

BadassDhampirBabe: Sweetie, you're a super slim vampire..

HighSpirits: NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME *dramatic storm out*

_HighSpirits has signed off_

_RosesGod, TheBlondeYouWannaB and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed on_

UrLoveIsMyDrug: My beautiful Russian man, le sigh.

RosesGod: *girlish giggle* Yes my beautiful young Aidy-Poo?

UrLoveIsMyDrug: I want Taco Bell. Take me my love!

RosesGod: Not the first time I've heard that bow chicka wow wow ;)

UrLoveIsMyDrug: IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU? A SEXUAL PRIZE? YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE I GOTS ALL THIS HOT BODY I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS? FUCK YOU DIMITRI. HERE I AM ONCE AGAIN. I'M TORN INTO PIECES CANT DENY IT CANT PRETEND. JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE. OPENED UP. DEEP INSIDE. BUT YOU WONT GET TO SEE THE TEARS I CRIIIIIIEEEED. BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES.

BadassDhampirBabe: Your eyes are green, idiot.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: UGH.

TheBlondeYouWannaB: STOP SINGING. I CAN HEAR IT FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS LOVELY AND PURE, _SHUUUUUUT UP. _OMFG.

UrLoveIsMyDrug: Don't hate me cause you aint me.

FireVsIce: I'M GONNA POP SOME TAGS. ONLY GOT 20 DOLLAS IN MY POCKET. I-I-I'M HUNTIN, LOOKING FOR A COMEUP. THIS IS F****** AWESOME.

_QueenBitch has signed on_

QueenBitch: WALK UP TO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP I GOT A BIG COCK!

Everyone But Tatiana: O_o

_RosesGod, BadassDhampirBabe, TheBlondeYouWannaB, FireVsIce and UrLoveIsMyDrug have signed off_

QueenBitch: I WEAR YO GRANDADS CLOTHES. I LOOK INCREDIBLE.

_QueenBitch has signed off_

**And boom, chapter done! This honestly wasn't my best. It was kinda a filler to let all you babes know I'm back and ready to gets my writing back on! Next chapter you should expect in the next few days, but till then my beautiful people, drop in a little review telling me how shitty this story was. I totes deserve it. But I still love you all anyways! **

**xx Cassidy **


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